Juice

I love juice.
mmm.

So, I've always poured my juice into glasses or bottles, expecting to entertain and serve juice? What I'm trying to say is that I'm drinking straight from the bottle, now. You would like to know why? Great, here goes: I live alone. I'm a bachelor by trade (and not in the fun-brag way - be sad for me, people), and I guess I always expected that the ladies might come over and want some juice - MAYBE THE LADIES AREN'T COMING OVER BECAUSE I DRINK JUICE. Honestly, if I had to choose between the ladies and juice, I would pick jews - juice is way more dependable and and and better at satisfying my needs (I almost said "cuddling", or "kissing", or something, but I decided to go with the least funny thing.

ON TEH TOP - it's better for the enviornment (THAT'S HOW I SAY IT, THAT'S HOW I'M SPELLING IT). Didn't see that coming, didja, suckers?!

suckers!?

it's hard to say which version of that sentence would better convey how I think you're all suckers.

If I end up entertaining guests on the regular or I seem to be entering a lasting relationship: there's always more juice. I shop for grossrys every two weeks.